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Sanics
Not to be confused with the pointless games. Sanics (b. October 31.) is a blue hegjekog, and the slowest creature in existence (besides the Zombies, but they don't count). He can run at one severalth of a mile per hour, and his legs never fall off while he is running. Sanics is also the unmascot of SEGA and the dictatorial leader of the Sanics Eslandses. History Early Life Sanics was born on a small eslands that Nabodys really knows about in 770 BC. He grew up in a small field where a farmer named Red Jaes grew his Perenhe Plents. This farmer liked hegjekogs, especially when they would shoot spikes all over his face. Some even say he would secretly feed Sonic as a baby. Sonic lived here because his mother was a hippie, so she moved to Mers so she could know what the word peace actually meant (even though Mars is a warrior planet). His father was actually Dr. Robatniks, but he didn't know that. Sanics grew up on this farm, even beginning to call Red Joe "mama". He only did this once because Red smacked him for doing it. But one day, Dr. Robatniks came in, and burned down the island. Sonic went hero, and attacked Eggman, taking him down. This started Sonic's rivalry with the Robatniks Family and made him popular with the people on the island. SEGA and Taking Pawers :For more, see his games. Sanics's popularity skyrocketed even further when SEGA found him, and began to make Sanics the Hegjekog games of him. Sanics' games became so popular, they were able to compete with Merio's games for several years. However, Sanics' stench was so strong, it actually went through the screen, so it took a while for Sonic's shames to catch on. Sanics eventually realized just how much potential he had. At only 100 years old, he became president of his home-island. He ruled for about three minutes before he passed a law that made him emperor, and Everybody liked that idea. Sonic was officially a world leader. Sanics was not satisfied. Though he is a good guy (most of the time), he was power-hungry just like everybody else. He secretly gathered his army (consisting of small mammals and birds), and showed everybody exactly what he was doing by broadcasting it on TV. He conquered surrounding islands until he owned every Southern Pacific island. Near Death Sanics led his empire through the Videogame War, and is considered one of the greatest leaders of all time (he was actually terrible, but we're trying to make him feel good about himself). Sanics' last stand was against one of the zombies, Merx. Sanics was so slow, he was able to hold his own against Merx for about three seconds before Merx Shaaps da Whaapsed him! Sanics was burned to a crisp. Many believe Sanics to be dead, and there was even a game called Bye Bye Sanics made specifically for his death. But this is wrong. Sanics is actually still alive, but he is on a life support system and has to take hundreds of Kills a day just to stay alive. He is believed to make a full recovery in about a billion years. SANICS CAN RUN FOR A BILLION YEARS! Selvar In the future, Sanics turns into Selvar because Napoleon Bonaparte is an idiot. Selvar then acts like a cooler version of Sanics. Selvar then travels back in time, and works with Sanics, not realizing they are the same person. Powers Sanics is the slowest creature alive. If you actually read the entire page, then you would already know he could travel exactly ¼ MPH. If you didn't see that, you obviously didn't read the entire page. He is very slow. He also has spines running along his back, and he can kill people with them. He can't make them fluffy instead of sharp, but he always forgets, and then accidentally stabs himself while running. He can also shoot the spines, but they are homing devices that always target Taoos. Sanics also has a weak yet existent ability to control some hamaunses. This is one of the reasons he took pawers so easily, and tends to get whatever he wants. Alas, Taoos is immune to this for some reason, so Sanics is stuck with him. Sanics can also turn into many alternate forms. Nobody knows how many there are, but there are a lot. Whenever Sanics thinks he is not epic enough, he will turn into one of these forms, and then annihilate whatever problem he is up against. His most common form is Super Sonic, but there are many others. There are so many others, it's almost kind of pathetic. Sanics also has the ability to curl up into a ball. Trivia *He is one of the evil masterminds of the Brawl of the Consoles. *Merio and Sanics duked it out once 755 years before the Videogame War. *Like the Merio series, Sanics also has a lot of bad games. *He actually hates Taoos more than he hates everyone in the Robatniks Family combined. Category:Characters The Characters Have Dots Category:Hegjekogs Category:Game Characters Category:Brawl With Link Cut Out Category:Weapons Category:Dangerous Weapons